Slowly
by oh-the-linsanity
Summary: In which Jean is the last of the 104 Training Group / "People leave slowly-Jean still believes that."


_Slowly_

_._

People leave slowly—Jean still believes that.

Marco is the first to leave.

Jeen has seen more than his fair share of comrades being eaten, stomped, ripped limb from limb and discarded in ugly shapes against the walls. The blood always smears in pretty patterns against crooked lips, eyes peer straight back at you, always open, always frozen in fear.

Marco isn't like that. His death is a whisper—if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear it, did it make a sound? Sometimes Jean stays awake at night, wondering if Marco even had time to scream at all.

He joins the recon corps because of Marco; to fulfill the potential for the both of them.

Jean does not let Marco leave quickly.

.

Connie is the next to leave.

He doesn't see it, but Sasha does. She shakes for three days straight, and on the fourth night, Jean wordlessly picks her up and has her sleep in his bed with him. She doesn't speak, doesn't cry, but after a few night she finally stops shaking, arms wrapped tightly around his chest, legs tangled with his.

It isn't but a few weeks later that she sees Christa leave too. This time though, others tell stories of how the once shaking Sasha slaughtered that titan in six seconds flat. But avenging can only get Sasha so far, and months later, she's left them all by her own hands.

_I didn't know a person could kill themselves like that_

_You know what they say—she was unconventional_

.

Things get messy after that. Secrets spill like blood and the war to keep humanity alive takes twists and turns Jean never dreamt possible. The truth is clouded with treachery and deceit, but in the end, even with Eren on their side, the hills are colored maroon and scattered with dead corpses.

And then it's just Jean, Armin and Mikasa. Under the leadership of Levi, Hanji and Irvin, the scraps of 104 fight on in the name of humanity. They've got Mikasa's unprecedented skill, Armin's brilliant mind, and Jean—well, Jean's a fighter. He knows that's good enough.

Mikasa is stone-cold to everyone, even Armin. Eren's death wounds her in such a way she can never heal. So she turns to her skills and fighting. Her kill count rises, higher than Levi's, higher than anyone ever had before. She's methodical and quick, sharp and consistent. She finally dies after slaughtering 15 titans in one battle alone, saving 350 soldiers lives.

Jean sees it happen. They all do. He sees the hope in her eyes fall out like dead stars and he knows she has no more heart left to give to humanity.

He forgives her without a second thought.

.

When Armin leaves, it is months later. The two of them have risen to the top, a duo of skills and brains, never one without the other.

Jean hold onto Armin's dying body like his touch is enough to keep him to this world. The blood pools from his nose and dips down to tuck beneath busted lips. Blond hair mats to his forehead and cheeks and Jean tries to look into bruised eyes and not the gaping hole in Armin's chest.

The damn kid's still smiling.

"Sorry, Jean," Armin coughs. "I tried my best."

Jean rips off his poncho and presses it to Armin's wounds. "You're not done yet, you've still got more to give, okay? You offered your beating heart to humanity!"

"Hmmm," Armin hums. "I did. How'd I do?"

"Horrible!" Jean screams, "You better damn well get up and redeem yourself."

Armin laughs—he _laughs—_before he coughs again, blood splattering up to freckle Jean's cheek. "Okay, I will, give me five minutes."

Jean sighs, tears pooling in his eyes. He presses a shaking finger to Armin's forehead and with a shuddering breath says, "You have to get up. We still have to make it to the ocean."

"That's okay."

"I bet it's really impressive, you'll want to see it."

For a few seconds Armin doesn't say anything, and Jean fears the worst. But then he sees the faintest rise of his chest and he says, "What do you think it looks like, the ocean?"

Jean sighs and wipes the tears from his eyes as he repositions himself to cradle Armin's head in his lap. In the distance, Jean hears the dying screams of some poor woman, but he ignores them. "Well, it's blue, right? Bet it looks like the sky."

"It's water, like the rivers, only bigger. Doesn't look like the sky."

Jean wipes the blood from Armin's mouth as it keeps dripping from his nose. "Well, the rivers reflect the sky and the clouds too, if it's bright enough. I bet the ocean's just like a giant mirror."

"Waves." Armin groans from his pain.

"What about waves?"

"The ocean isn't still, it moves in waves."

Jean wipes Armin's brow. "Nah, I bet it still works like a mirror. I bet, at sunset, when the sky turns all these pretty colors, the water does too. I bet it's real beautiful."

"Beautiful," Armin repeats, word literally dripping with blood.

Armin is the first and last person Jean knows who dies with their eyes closed and without fear.

.

When the battle is over and Jean is all alone, it's Levi that comes up to him, lips painted in that permanent frowns and says, "You've got blood on your face."

And when Jean goes to clean it up, to wash the blood from his hands the umpteenth time, he sees what Levi saw—blood splattered like tiny freckles all along his left cheek, a familiar face staring back at him.

_"You make a great leader."_

Jean cries.

.

People leave slowly—they linger long after they should be gone.

Jean leaves slowest of all.

* * *

notes: EPISODE 21 SUCKED A DICK I hate this show so in the meanwhile have sadfic about Jean.


End file.
